yes im even awkward online.

3 Oct

i am currently laptopless and rely completely on university computers for the internet.

i promise it really isnt TOO exciting sitting in a public area with a bunch of other unknown people typing away….

however, there is endless paper to print on. (win)

my anxiety is on overdrive and my bestfriend is in the psych ward.

yesterday i foundout my wonderful insurance doesnot cover any kind of mental health services like a psychologist.

the one i was seeing for free on campus, i cant go to anymore because my classes interfere with her schedule.

and back to my friend again, he is MIA for the next few days atleast, and i honestly should feel relieved. that he won’t kill himself, or cut himself…………..but im still worried. he hated the idea of even going to one of those places…

tomorrow is going to be such a long day. i have to meet with two out of 5 of my professors about trying to save my grades.

and i am just feeling like a failure because i cant handle 5 classes. i cant handle the work/the readings/ etc that are expected of me but i need to so i can graduate only a year late.

the reason why i was so disappointed about my insurance is because in all honesty, i was hoping they would tell me they’d cover part of each session, and that i was being too negative. ive also been realizing that im not just lazy and putting off homework or not showing up for class, i really do have problems that need to be worked on in order to even have a chance at succeeding.

and im really hoping i donot cry when i talk to my professors tomorrow.

a positive for tomorrow is: im supposed to be meeting someone to talk about….LGBT(?) issues. maybe ill make a friend?! i dont know. i think i scare her, because of course, i messaged her online and she asked me a question and my response was “i dont answer questions” …..joke…hahaha…right?



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