I feel inclined to post about the not so jolly.
I do love my family, but as with being a part of a family unit, there comes the negatives.
Christmas Day: my younger brother did this annoying thing again, (surprise!) lately he has been in this habit that when I’m around he tries to act all assertive and protective of me, which is supposed to be cute and endearing, but for me is just irksome. When it was time to drive my boyfriend home, my younger brother interjects with a, “why don’t i go along? So when you drop him off your not alone?” then on cue my mom agrees that I shouldn’t be alone and he should go with me.
MAYBE if the weather had been bad I would have agreed, but there was no snow or ice and despite what my parents think, the area my boyfriend lives in isn’t that bad.
I do not like people thinking that because of who I am, a girl, that I can’t do anything on my own. I do not need constant protection. I do not need a man to take care of me. I do not need my younger brother always at my side “just in case.”
Then when I told my dad I was leaving he made sure to tell me to be careful, but before that said something about how he was surprised I was going by myself….
Today: I was just disturbed by the things my mom said. I always try to tell myself that my parents, my family, they aren’t really that conservative. And then today happened.
Yes I completely walked into this one. In my opinion hair salons, are breeding grounds for gossip and ignorance. It’s like they are these uber gendered feminine places, that are the embodiment of some of the worst aspects of being female. (vain, superficial, bitchy) oh and ALOT of wasted time tends to accumulate…in these establishments.
My mom’s hair person (?) is pretty nice and she made my hair look and feel amazing, but towards the end I had to listen to her and my mom make fun of lesbian couple (said hair expert refused to be in her friend’s wedding because she “didn’t support the two of them getting married”) and bashing trans people. because apparently two females getting married is just oh so funny and trans people are just creepy. And then I just sat there and stared at them. Just listening to them and how…childish they sounded (and mean/cold/awful) it made me really sad and disgusted.
it makes me feel like I’ll never be able to have any meaningful relationship with my mom and possibly my parents. situations like this make me realize that maybe I did the right thing when I was 16, correction: the more convenient choice, to not tell my parents that I’m gay.
I’m just not sure. There are so many things that I want to say.