Update Time!

17 Feb

I am feeling quite chipper today.

I know a rarity. But just go with it. 

Last weekend I went to the MBLGTACC. By far the GAYEST event/conference/thing I’ve been to and rightfully so. A few words to describe said experience: Intensely overwhelming. 

It was nice to have a physical, real world representation of the LGBT community AND some pretty girls to look at….mhm

but the college conference also made me realize that I’m in a peculiar place.  I am starting to accept my gay identity but have some internalized homophobia issues. 

Basically a majority of my LGBT university going peers  at the conference are out and in a place of acceptance an pride, and I’m still trying to be ok…

Further news of joy includes:


I got accepted by my university’s new ANTHROPOLOGY  study abroad program that includes a physical anthropology aspect of looking at dead Brits skulls AND culturally looking at British myths/rituals from ancient to modern times.

Oh and I get to be all touristy and go to Stonehenge. Hell yes.

I officially broke up with my bf a few weeks ago, so now he is my best friend and my X.

He’s taking….me being gay…pretty good and he is being supportive.  

He really is a good person; if this situation was reversed I would not have been so…understanding. The way I think of it….is I have an online community, new friends, books, resources; while society just tells my X to get over it. Since falling in love with a gay girl and then dating her for nearly 5 years isn’t a big deal or anything…..he also gets a ton of shit for being an “ally” and not being gay. 

Then I’ve been flirting with someone and it’s absolutely insane, because I am attached, already….

And somehow I still havent made it to my university’s LGBT group. Because go figure, gay people scare me. Especially nice gay people. 



7 Responses to “Update Time!”

  1. (e)m February 18, 2013 at 1:34 am #

    oooooh british myths. I’m envious. You already have a new girlfriend? Details.

    As for flirting. That doesn’t really mean anything.

    What about gay people scares you?

    • colormeanew February 18, 2013 at 2:51 am #

      you should be jealous! 😉
      and NO. I am not nearly interesting enough or well.. enough of anything to leave my ex and have someone new the next day.
      Potentially, this new person, something may happen or not.
      And Im just anxious around people in general. Then factor in a chance at being apart of a potential community and having new friends…scary stuff.

      • (e)m February 18, 2013 at 7:47 pm #

        I also have social anxiety, so I know that feeling. I’m actually working on a twine game about it. Good luck with the girl. I hope it works out for you.<3

      • colormeanew February 19, 2013 at 4:06 am #

  2. rmiles February 18, 2013 at 7:32 am #

    Oh hell, the gay stuff will come, in time. 🙂 I’m more excited about your trip to London! That would be wonderful! There are stone circles like Stonehenge in Scotland as well as a Neolithic village and mounds located on the Orkney Island. Please make sure you keep us updated on your adventures. Peace.

    • colormeanew February 19, 2013 at 4:06 am #

      why thankyou! And I feel like July won’t come fast enough for London…I DO have one long weekend free to travel on my own so I was thinking of Scotland…
      I’m just not sure.

      • rmiles February 19, 2013 at 4:23 am #

        Luckily in Europe everything is relatively close by, just a train/bus ride away. And if you don’t mind hiking and staying in hostels, not too expensive either. You still have plenty of time to decide, just two main things to keep in mind: stay safe and have a great time. If you do end up going to the Orkney Islands, I highly recommend the Wild About Orkney Tour. Cheers.

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