Archive | May, 2013

See I really really really try to avoid the

23 May

See I really really really try to avoid the hell out of posting.

1.) I don’t have much worth saying


2.) who would really care what I have to say about anything? (correct response: no one.)

And now I’m becoming one of those awful people always talking about their relationship.

So here’s the basics:

I love my girlfriend. 

We’ve been together officially for a little teeny bit  over two months now.

We had our first fight yesterday.

I thought  (and she thinks) everything is peachy keen.

HOWEVER, *key the dramatic music*

All is not well.

Maybe I’m just feeling extra bitchy, maybe I am indeed a bitch, and maybe just maybe…there is stuff she -the gf- is NOT getting.

Fights/ arguments for instance are not about “winning.” Their essentially rooted in emotions and a bigger issue, even something as simple as miss-communicating. These can for th positive help develop better communication skills and… should I say it? 

BY having fights…or taking away something positive from them means: learn to compromise, change/evolve/ grow from errors, and realize what is and what is not working in said relationship. (Honestly, had a MUCH better monologue in my head then this…more convincing too)

Currently I’m worried that maybe she doesn’t realize how much work actually goes into relationships. I’m worried that once she does it will be OVER. I’m worried that maybe we are TOO different for each other and that it can’t work…

While I quit on a fairly regular basis in areas like my life, like school, for relationships I feel the exact opposite. After all, I was with my X for 4 and a half years; through plenty of unsavory fights and conversation, some abuse, and general unhappiness. (Hmm like being very very gay in a straight relationship…)

But especially with  her I just want it to work. I want us to work. I want her to keep trying. If there is anything she wants me to change about myself that is…negative/rational I would fucking do it. So let’s see if she is willing to put in the effort…


life lesson

21 May

Relationships are hard.

Their composed of compromises, jealousy, resentment, and there is pretty much always room for improvement. 

So on to the happy! Right?

Calm yourself….

I am totally a relationship girl. I enjoy  the commitment, the conversations, the cuddles.

But approaching the first “real” fight….it’s scary to think that the other person may not be as relationship savvy, like my girlfriend…

I don’t appreciate the interference and bitchiness from outsiders; if your not family or a close friend why should I give a fuck about your opinions?

Especially when you, said person, have ulterior motives at stake?

Personal Goal in Life: try not to care or mind the petty bitches.

But at the same I need respect and understanding. Even “non-relationships” and open ones have boundaries so why should this monogamous one be so difficult to comprehend….

For the happy: new laptop!!! well tablet…and I will be London bond in one month and 9 days