My life status.

21 May

It’s been difficult recently. I just started my spring class, my first class in months, and to say it’s intellectually challenging. A good thing but hard to go from zero reading to chapters and print outs with unknown words virtually in every other paragraph. 
But that’s not even really the problem.
K my lovely fiancé has run out of her meds for her bipolar and there’s something else that’s not good. She was trying to keep this from me. It’s hard because her work fired her early April I think and there went the insurance.  Luckily she just got state insurance but there’s been so many problems finding her a psychatrist. Her old one was a Christian fanatic who turned cold when he realized he couldn’t stop either us from being gay.  Now she can’t see him because of course he doesn’t take state insurance.  Her primary dr won’t take on her meds…..right now I’m waiting for K at a place that promises some sort of hope for meds.
I used to think being with someone with mental health problems could possibly make me a better stronger person. But lately it’s just bringing up all my own personal flaws and issues.
I have anxiety and some kind of mood disorder.  And physically I feel weak and tired and just not good. I’m not sure how long mono symptoms persist but I’m hoping that’s what is making me feel like shit.
I’m hoping for the best right now.  I don’t mean to sound angry or pessimist.  I’m actually excited that were here trying another venue to get K help. I just get tired from these road blocks and rejections.
I’m still holding a grudge against her ex roommates and her family…..and her former place of unemployment.  K worked there for a few years and they fired her for health problems. They’ve been blocking her unemployment. 
K going to CC  finally is amazing. I just wish the government would catch up to the fact that people going to CC can’t focus on going if they don’t provide proper funds.
There’s just a lot going on right now. And I’m struggling.


5 Responses to “My life status.”

  1. DeCaf May 21, 2014 at 10:50 pm #

    I hope K is able to get the help she needs. Trying to support someone who has mental illness can be very challenging, sometimes it’s hard to know when it’s the person speaking or the mental illness. I wish both of you luck.

  2. Khai May 22, 2014 at 5:05 am #

    I’m sorry it’s been rough; is there anything I can do to help make it easier?

    • colormeanew May 24, 2014 at 1:32 am #

      Thanks. I’m not sure how to answer that… 🙂

    • colormeanew May 24, 2014 at 1:56 am #

      Actually I have a question that isn’t really related. Are you religious or spiritual? I thought you were Christian…I guess I’m just wondering what your experience has been.

      • Khai May 24, 2014 at 3:04 pm #

        I’m… something. Christian is probably the closest. I think Jesus was a pretty great dude, and following His example is a pretty great way to live your life.

        I hesitate to call myself Christian, though, because I hesitate to align myself with thousands of years of oppression, genocide, and slaughter.

        If you need to talk more, please feel free to email me… khaidevon at gmail dot com

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