Archive | June, 2014

Depression is that you?

26 Jun

I’m not sure how others experience and perceive this world but for me everything:every word thought action is tainted with sadness self hatred loneliness and this hurt that never seems to quite go away.
I feel broken. And my mind doesn’t seem to work right. I could actually be happy or feeling ok but in a second one thought or worry completely destroys this for me…
Why can’t I just be happy? Why can’t I cry? Why can’t I feel loved and worthy of it?

8 Jun

Quick notes on life:
It’s been nearly an entire year since I’ve been out of the country or even out of Michigan.
I’m shocked at myself for even feeling this way but I miss the uk.  I miss London – the underground,  the overcrowded streets, the British museum, measuring bones- I miss traveling and not feeling confined to an area.
But money..or lack of it is a very real problem.
K and I have pending plans for visiting chicago.  Mostly it’s a selfish trip so I can visit the university of chicago for grad program information. It’s a start though…I’m still considering another study abroad to the Netherlands for an lgbt focused program or or one in the uk(again)